Can’t think too much.

The media for making art has changed over the years so much that I feel my ‘doing’ is transparent. Its as if the artist hand has been subdued, reduced. Yet the mind of the artist is ever intact and should be relevant to the issues of contemporary human experience. I see no reason for things to be ‘this certain way’ or ‘that certain way’. This is not a new argument. It has been around since Kandinsky saw a painting of his in his studio upside down. He did not recognize it’s subject at first, but the image that held his attention.

Drawing and composing with the computer has opened abstraction into a region of fast paced experimental activity for me.

Sometimes I wonder if I am leaving anything behind. The trace of the hand by pencil or brush, for example. But I am not afraid to loose what it is that is there already. I must remain empty of the past in order to be filled with what is here now.

I can’t think too much, it clouds my vision.

'Obsessed with naming and tagging'.

‘Obsessed with naming and tagging’.




To uncover the way that I think comes from a constant surveillance of the things being done while they are being done. I know my concern is with how things or thoughts are originated. And as I write this here I am wondering if there is anyone else, at this very moment, having similar thoughts or actions.

I am not concerned with my personal thoughts because thoughts come like rain and each drop of water will fall on different surfaces at different times and they make different sounds. My mind is likened to one of these surfaces and so the sound or reaction that I produce will be a by-product of my individual density.

How do I translate this reception into something tangible as art? My process is semi-guided by intentionality. I want to portray my concepts from now into tomorrow and not from the past, which can get very confusing whenever the whole sentient life of the planet is brought into consideration. I cannot separate now from the past no matter how hard I try. But I feel the future can be affected by what I do now.

The identity string runs from location to individual to family to biology to planet to solar system and on and on. I choose the nonrepresentational mode of visual communication to elevate my feelings on life.

mind the mind

I put down more than what is really necessary / sometimes, the urge is there to stop / but I doubt that what I have already is enough / until everything is overflowing, bubbling to the surface / disrupting the peace, that I need to continue the meditation.  Control comes from constant practice.

113_3279 113_3292 113_3300

Mind at the end of Idea.

I see the computer like mind at the end of an idea. I could never draw or create sketches for paintings as fast as I do on a computer with a simple program. When I feel to change my mind on a color that covers, say, 70% of the surface, the change is immediate, I like that. It feels like imagination at work. It’s in my mind and in a matter of seconds, it is in front of my eyes. Yet there are lots of variables missing. For now I don’t mind that. That is why I need to see them as real paintings. As I see them right now in my mind the image is much bigger than what I see when I work on the laptop.

But I know, most if not all of the images I imagine, usually turn out to not satisfy the feeling I have whenever I confront a painting or something beautiful that really vibrates inside of me. Working direct has always been the way I think about creative working. Sketch remains sketch.

Every painting is performance on an chickenconvene

idea from start to finish.

Five sketches

Working with the computerized sketching I do about ten at each sitting. This is great because I just want to get them out quickly with as little thinking process as possible. Philip Guston had a practice where he would sit at and paint a canvas,I bet rigorously, until the painting is done before getting up. This strikes me as immediate, crucial to the creative transition the journey to another place that is important.

From this sitting, before going to bed, I shall choose these five from the lot. I imagine them to be around 5 feet in dimension as I work. I wait for the day when I can produce them on that scale as a hard copy painting.

The early surrealists abstract painters looked at ‘automatic writing as a means to transcend intentional results and be mindful of their mindless act. This I hope will lead to responsible freedom of living.anacalypsis common canyon plain coyote


Some may pray each day at a certain time to maintain sanity. I practice each morning not too long after waking and before going to bed at night. What is it that I practice? It is a mindless exercise that I am totally mindful of. I have an unheated studio so in the winter months I do all my drawings and sketches on the computer. This creating in the digital field is all new to me but I am believing in it more and more from a spontaneous, improvisational point of view. It all happens real fast and changes, well they seem automatic. This will lead up to spending more contemplative time on executing the actual paintings from the sketches. Most of my paintings in the past have been without sketches, they are direct creations.

But working with the computer doing sketches has given me thoughts on slowing down when painting. Now that the spontaneous part of creating is done I shall take the time to translate what I did unto a larger scale and paint with the patience of meditating without sitting cross legged.

bolt crabtoe fence groundation

Dance in the dark

Art has always been and always will be representational, no matter how you look at it. Successful art elevates our response to the mysteries of life and consciousness. Beauty is not a thing to prejudge it usually appeals to me whenever I see or experience for the first time. If I were to judge things by prejudice then I would be limiting my experiences before they actually happen.

One reason why I opted towards the abstract in art was because I felt that the ideal most representations of the sacred in life was always anthropomorphic and I wondered why is it that we see all the world through our own image. Why is it that we made god in our own image and then claim it to be the other way around?

I had an exercise in art school to do a drawing for an alien being describing where we live. All I could think of was energy and how could I represent that. I think the birth of abstraction in art came from a rebellion against the rule. Somehow I believed that true creative transcendence came about through an exception to the rule.

I wanted to find that exception from within myself, open it and let it happen. Yet I had subjective preferences or prejudices that needed to be identified and let go of. Things that became important to the development of my faculties? My environment; the landscape, the culture, the ways we walk and do things like drawing and writing.

Religion was too much on intelligence, too much on what is known and proven already. I went away from the light and into the dark to walk, swim or dance.swan stew.

Mondrian claimed to be a dancer but he was a very stiff one, robotic. Mark Rothko never danced he sat still with space like ‘The monk by the sea’. Cy Twombly never really danced he had good uninhibited handwriting.